reflections

To the Women of Fitness

When I first started training, the gym floor looked like a men's locker room. Women just didn't lift in the co-ed area, that’s if they even worked out at all. Back then you couldn't compete in bikini because it wasn't a category, and #fitchicks didn’t exist because social media wasn't a thing yet. Before there were selfies, online fit challenges, food prep companies, and the only color leggings came in were black, my fitness journey started.

I've been at this game for awhile now, 14 years to be exact. It's been an incredible adventure to where I am today. Being able to travel the world and educate people at all levels about women's health, hormones and performance is something I will always be grateful for. Witnessing the growth of women in all areas of fitness has been absolutely amazing.

At the same time, I can't deny my fears for the current generation of iron sisters. It’s a wild world out there, filled with sex, drugs and reckless ignorance. Before more lives are negatively affected, relationships shattered, bodies devastated, minds broken, and futures altered, I truly wish more women would start to realize that -

You don't need to step on stage to gain muscle. 
You don't need to compete to harness strength. 
You don't need to starve yourself to lose body fat.
You don't need to spend your life savings on a coach.
You don't need to contest prep to make better lifestyle choices.
You don't need to blame prep either for your bad lifestyle choices.
You don't need to sexualize yourself to be seen or heard.
You don't need to wear your insecurities to gain confidence. 
You don't need to compare the 'old' you to prove change.
You don't need to have a perfect physique to be in the industry.
You don't need to pick the gym over family, friends and fun.
You don't need to sacrifice your health to transform your body.
You don't need to build anything but yourself.

Building a body requires you to build ALL of you, from cellular to social -and not just your booty. Focus on building your passion, purpose, future, and health. Build your love for the iron, respect for your body, and I promise you the rest will come.

 

Health Advocacy

Work files? Not exactly... 

Work? Not exactly.

You're probably thinking, what's reflective about a giant stack of paper?

I get it. It's a little odd for an article that's supposed to be reflective.

Here's the thing. That's not work.

What you see is all of my medical files from 2008 onward, neatly organized and ready to go for when or if I have new meeting with doctors and specialists.

It's been a hell of a long road and I've learned so much along the way about medicine, health and hormones. But, possibly just as important, I've learned how to 'play' the system.

Now, I don't like to generalize at all. The world is a unique and beautiful place, but if there is one thing that I can share with others regarding my experiences it is this.

Pretend like every doctors appointment is a job interview.

NEVER assume that they have your file or have taken the time to read it. You have to make them care. Come prepared. You have to show them that you are serious about your #health and that you are doing the necessary steps to get better.

You have to be your own advocate. I always type a list of time-lined symptoms, medications & supplements (type, dose, duration), current diet and training program, and QUESTIONS for them. It may sound trivial but this has proven to be SO crucial in my many years in the system. It allows me to keep calm, focused and ensure that I don't forget anything.

My personal background, education and research, as well as having a mother who is deeply embedded in the medical system as a hospital administrator/nurse practitioner/nursing school instructor has lead me to these insights.

Research shows that when people take an ACTIVE role in their care, they have a greater sense of satisfaction - and yet, research also shows that many patients don't speak up for themselves or communicate effectively with doctors. 

By sharing my story I hope that I can help others navigate the sometimes long and unpredictable journey back to health. 

 

With love & gratitude,

Victoria Felkar

 

 

 

 

Building Gratitude

The Gensis of #thankfulTuesday

For as long as I can remember I have have tried to take time everyday to reflect and find gratitude for the ‘little’ things in life. I'm not sure why, but on April 24th, 2014 I was compelled to share my thoughts with anyone who wanted to read them. 

Regardless of where I've been in the world, what deadlines I've had, or challenges ahead - I've taken time each Tuesday to share a message of personal gratitude. 

There have been days where I've had to choke back tears while writing my post, and others where I went over the social media word count by 1000. I will say this, spreading 'thanks' in either of these situations, has been and will be more powerful than I think I will ever fully understand. 

The feedback I have received over the years from these posts has been truly amazing, humbling, and special. When I first started my mini-mission, I would have never thought that one little post each week could have as much impact on my life, or the lives of others.  

So why do I do it? Why do I ask myself each Tuesday to share the answer to the question,  what are you thankful for? It's simple, really. 

Working, training, launching a personal training company, going to school full time, keeping relationships, being a present daughter and sister, and trying to figure out my health issues took it's toll on me. Midway through my undergrad degree, I fell into 'the grind'. I fell so deep and hard that I forgot to stop, breathe and be grateful for the world around me.

Both of my worlds - the academic and industry abyss - are fast-paced, dog-eat-dog kind of deals. I let them swallow me up. Spit me out. And swallow me up again a few more times, before I realized what I had done. In and among the deadlines, long hours and pursuit of perfectionism, I had surrendered any sense of gratitude for the very things that kept me grounded, the one that would help me grow, or just 'be.' 

Fast forward, and here we are. Over 3.5 years later, and gratitude has become my tool, teaching, blessing, coping strategy, motivator, method, and meditation.

It's my road map for this crazy beautiful journey I am on. It's the vessel for my passion, and my compass for when the seas around me get rough. It's the Polaroid I use to capture the brilliance unfolding around me, and the fuel for my purpose. 

You see, gratitude is so much more than a formula for personal success, self-help fad, or cult movement. When you are genuinely thankful, it is simply a way of life.

My wish for ... or maybe it's a actually a challenge to anyone reading this is to take time and reflect the simplest and most life-giving things around you.

Stop. Breathe. Be thankful.

Trust me. Life can and will get crazy sometimes. It is cruel and unforgiving, but there really is something to be said about time to ask yourself 5 words in order to wake up and see how beautiful life really is. Try it. Ask yourself, what are you thankful for? Don't think too hard about your answer, just throw down whatever the first thing that comes to mind is.

Today I am thankful for -

My loved ones, my body and health. I am thankful for me - and not just on Tuesdays but each and every day.

I am thankful for the gift of life, because no matter how wild it may be at times, this in itself is the most beautiful thing of all.

 

With love & gratitude, 

Victoria Felkar

 

P.s. If you dare to join me on this adventure, don't forget to hashtag #thankfulTuesday

 

 

More than a body.

For over 6 years, I struggled with how to be more than a body, while working in the industry that builds them.

It prevented me from getting information out into the world, and stopped me from being able to do good. Unfortunately, I allowed the social norms that I fight so hard within my work to break me, crippling the ability to engage, advocate, and create positive action through education. But, not anymore.

I'm no longer going to hide behind my articles, stay locked in lecture halls or in the shadows of backstage. Slowly but surely, I’m building the foundation needed to share my ideas, knowledge, research and passions. In the age of personal branding, social media and visual culture, this meant that I had to get in front of a camera. So, I did it my way.

Thanks to Rommel Ramirez, the images and experience was better than I could have ever hoped for. 

 

No tan, no prep, no diet or protocol were needed. I did my own make-up as I do on most mornings and attempted to conceal my bad skin. My hair was dirty and roots were showing. I was awkward, had no idea how to pose, and couldn’t wait to be home, in my pajamas and writing. But that's all exactly how it should have been, because that's who I am

How can I be more than a body, while being apart of the industry that builds them? For better or worse, followers lost or gained, challenges faced and questions asked, I will be me.

 

With love & gratitude,

Victoria Felkar


p.s. Don’t let the 15lb dumbbells fool you. Strength isn’t always measured by numbers. 

 

Photos by Rommel Ramirez
http://ramirezcreative.com/
IG: @ramirez.creative.photography
FB: @ramirezcreative26